As I entered the theater to watch Spy Kids 4: All the time in the world, I had a small regret; the theatre was not equipped with 4D infrastructure. No scratch cards, just 3D glasses. Not that I expected 4D infrastructure in Coimbatore, but I could not help feeling a little disappointed. I couldn’t enjoy the fourth dimension that the makers of the movie claimed would complete the experience. I would be missing something.
It was only after I watched the movie that I realized I should have in fact thanked my lucky stars that the theatre did not have the scratch cards. It would have been a lousier experience than it was.
The last thing I would want to do is pay a fortune and end up scratching the hell out of a card only to smell fart and a load of baby poo.
Yes, Spy Kids 4: All the time in the world, according to me, is a waste of your time and mine.
The movie begins with a pregnant Marissa Wilson (Jessica Alba), sporting a “pot” belly and executing somersaults in the air and kicking bad guys, occasionally complaining about contractions. She is a step mom and a retired spy who is recalled for a mission that involves catching the Time Keeper/Tick Tock (Jeremy Piven) – the guy who accuses people of wasting their time (says who!). He threatens to take “time” away from them so that they will understand its value.
While the hot spy cum step mom goes back to try and save the world, her step kids – Rebecca and Cecil Wilson played by Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook respectively – are “accidentally” drawn into the plot. From then on the movie pulls you into the world of “cool kids” that do “cool stuff” like wear hammer hands, with a talking dog at their heels. It is the same old 7- year- old- kids- breaking- complex- codes- and -anagrams -in –a- jiffy all over again. Well it is part of the movie so, no comments. Let me spare you the details.
Finally when the confrontation happens and the kids face the Time Keeper, they learn of the villain’s unpleasant past. He wants to go back in time and spend all the time that he lost with his father. The spy kid gives him free advice – you cannot change anything by going back in time. It’s not how long you have that matters, rather how you choose to spend it. Wise kid.
But you know what, too bad, coz by the time we reach the advice part, it’s already too late; we have reached the end of the movie -impossible to go back in time to spend the one and a half hours more usefully.
Oh you are wondering I have never mentioned the ‘Community’ fame Joel McHale so far? That’s because he has hardly any space in the frames. He plays Wilbur Wilson, father of the kids and a spy hunter who totally misses the fact that his missus is a spy. For the most part of the movie, he is conveniently forgotten. You do not have to know much about his role- there is nothing much.
The movie ends with the Time Keeper becoming a changed man and the Wilbur Wilson family rejoicing at the sight of their newest member (the baby) up on her feet and fighting her first bad guy. Nothing important there, they have to end the movie with something. So the baby does a few tricks and kicks the bad guy. End of movie.
The dialogues, for the most part were wannabe and lame. I think kids should be fed more than just wannabe cool stuff. The only thing I found funny was the “handsome” dog that talked with a British accent! It reminded me of the donkey in Shrek.
I find the idea of a diaper bomb and a puke bag sort of lame (Never underestimate the power of puke!) That’s a line from the movie. I am yet to ask a kid if he finds it really cool and funny. Other things to smell include candy and some weird green gas.
“It’s show time!” is a line that you hear at least five times in the movie. What the show is, you are never really sure.
While I am told that the other Spy Kids series are better, I can only judge what I have watched. To sum up, I would just say that this part, in my opinion, was a very average attempt in an effort to put something together that could be cool and adventurous and funny and action-packed all at the same time. Not so cool.
Bottom line: You have to waste some time to learn that you should not waste time. Talk about a paradox.