Nope. I can’t seem to be able to “Go”. The clock’s ticking. Mercilessly, too. Yet, it is as though we are all still frozen in time.
Turns out I realize the full meaning of the phrase “before you know it” only now. I find myself thinking, “How am I suddenly 22?”
It’s almost as if someone just pressed the fast-forward button on Life. When you are in school, life’s slow. The biggest thing you are worried about is perhaps an exam. And the greatest thing you are excited about is a school trip, if not the summer vacation! Days seem to stretch on forever, never ending. Though you complain about all the work, you feel secure.
After the “board exam hurdles”, you get to college, and it seems like a well-deserved vacation. Often, both in school and college, you think, “I cannot wait to get out of this place”. But there is a difference. The reason you’d want to get out of school is excessive work. The reason you’d want to get out of college is the absolute lack of work. Sometimes in college you feel guilty of not doing anything with all the free time you have. That is partly why I found myself a part-time job. It is a nice feeling to be productive and able to earn your own pocket money. 😉
But when you actually start working full-time, you can hardly feel the days that pass by. Half a dozen times, I have gotten the day of the week wrong. That is because this Tuesday is not very different from the last Tuesday. Nor is the next Tuesday going to be very different from this one. Days quickly become weeks and months; before you know it, one fine morning, you are 22! Though you do like your work, everything seems to be happening too fast. You grow to become afraid of Time.
I realized that the primary reason for this is the fact that when you finally start working, your life is suddenly no longer bound by a fixed length of time like it was in school and college. Somehow when you were a student, it seemed as though you were merely playing a character in a book already written. But when you start working, you suddenly have all the gates thrown open in front of you, pen in hand and you have to start writing your story yourself. There are no rules to play by, nobody to stop you. To think, that is exactly what you have been waiting for all your life – to be able to have the controls, but it may not be what you imagined. It could be scary. It could be confusing. It could be life-changing.
All this, only on the social front. Personally, as time passes, you begin to try to understand yourself better. You begin to understand yourself, the likes and expectations of friends and family, compromises to be made and responsibilities to be taken up. There might be surprises, pleasant and unpleasant, but I guess they all come as a package.
In all this, the important thing to know is that perhaps you are not alone. Man is a social animal after all. It is not possible to live in isolation. When you have a few others with you, like you, you always feel a little better. To those who have thus been with me in the same boat so far, thank you for just being 😉
I cannot slow things down in life. Nor can anyone else. We cannot get more than 24 hours a day. Perhaps what we should be doing is make every day count – I am not sure how. That is for us to figure out, quite subjective. Somehow if we can add more meaning to a day than there is now, we might feel less insecure about days flashing by in the blink of an eye – by keeping ourselves busier, better occupied. From little things such as learning a new sport or a language to bigger things such as maybe laying the groundwork for starting a business! (Or well, simply writing a blog;)) Hopefully, when we do feel more secure, we’ll finally be able to “Get set and Go!”.
If you have been feeling the same things, do let me know. I am open to suggestions/advice/comments. Thanks for reading!