I happened to watch this movie called “Marubadiyum” – a film directed by Balumahendra starring Revathi, Arvindswamy and Nizhalgal Ravi. Now this film came out in 1993 and I watched it just a few hours back- and I can’t get over how well the film portrays the reality of life and how it holds good till today.
*Spoiler alert* (if you really care, that is. This movie is 23 years old).
Rather than saying I loved the movie, I would say it was very relatable. This post is not a rant or an outlet for locked up emotions, nor is it a movie review- it’s rather a record of my realizations that have been made stronger by a movie directed more than 20 years ago.
What I refer to as relatable is certainly not the life of any of the characters – rather, what the lead character realizes towards the end of the film.
Here is a quick outline. After a very rough divorce, Thulasi (Revathi) is confused as to what is left for her in life anymore. She is depressed and devastated. After 5 years of marriage, her husband Murali (Nizhalgal Ravi) leaves her for another woman. You know how ugly that can get. It’s not just a relationship that it affects – it affects your self respect and self worth, apart from the devastation and sleepless nights and meaningless days it brings on. It makes you bitter. They separate, and she struggles but goes about her life, when she meets Gowrishankar (Arvind Swamy), the cute guitarist who falls in love with her – perhaps the kind of love born out of sympathy for her. This is all very cinema-like. While we’d expect her to get together with Arvind Swamy, that’s not reality. Things don’t happen for as per your convenience in real life- that is not life. Plus when she is really confused, taking a someone, especially a good person for granted is not correct.
While she is grateful that he entered her life, she says she would be incapable of doing this all over again after having had a devastating experience earlier. To quote her “Inime kanna mooditu kanavu kaana ennaala mudiyadhu”. She also says she’d become a coward if she agreed to his proposal because then she would depend on him emotionally all over again and that would make her weak again. It’s an attractive prospect to think that after a failed relationship, you will probably meet someone else and things will be alright again. In reality that is very very difficult and it is the truth with many people. It’s just not the same again.
The film ends with her adopting a child and making the child’s life her reason to live on. That may be seen as dramatic but the point is, we all look for happiness and security – in other people. We depend on someone’s love for our own happiness. If things go well, great. But the moment something goes wrong, it’s not easy to walk that path again. Things are not the same again, they are not rosy again. She stays alone, despite the fact that she deserves someone who treats her right.
Beyond a point, you realize that completely depending on another person or your relationship with them for your own happiness is only going to constantly keep you insecure. It’s perhaps not a very pleasant realization, but it’s true. Your happiness or security should depend rather on yourself. It should come from within oneself. The sooner one accepts it, the better. Find things that make you happy- something to keep yourself motivated. That cannot be called selfish – as long as you are not hurting anyone else in the process, it’s okay. Not that I have completely lost hope in relationships- let’s say my perspective of the concept has changed. I have learnt that, and this film just made that realization stronger.
Just ending this post with the link to a very nice song from the film, Nalam Vaazha. Raja, kaekkave venaam. Very soulful.